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The Great Umm Tally


Nearly everyone who has seen the back of my notebook or has heard the stories I have told about my biology teacher has heard about this great undertaking of mine. This breakthrough in science, this new and great record has been a great challenge and a wonder to me so far, and increases with difficulty, nearly always spanning the entirety of my biology class and often a lot of my free time, making calculations and recording them onto my word processor, not to mention the time it takes to make web pages for your viewing pleasure. What is it, you ask? What is this great umm tally that you speak of? Let me explain this marvel of nature, this nearly eighth wonder of the world, this amazement to all of mankind, the great umm tally.

I would like to start where it all began, as just a mere spark of impishness, about ten minutes into my biology class on the first full day of school, of my first full day of high school. My biology teacher, whom our class was finding was an excellent cure for insomnia, was discussing the finer points of how to put your name at the top of the paper, or some interesting topic similar to that, when I began to notice a specific trend. Not only did he never look up at the class, but he was saying the words um and uh. A lot. Being the speculative person that I am and unafraid to begin a new experiment, I began to keep a record of how many times he would say the words um and uh for the duration of the class period. At the end of the period, I carefully counted the tally marks that i had made on the back of my notebook. I was shocked and amazed to find the grand total an entire 285 times! With the knowledge that I would never be able to pay any attention in class whatsoever unless I somehow were to find an interest, I decided to continue the tally throughout the school year.

The following are the results of the tally so far, including predictions, averages, and totals; daily, weekly, quarterly, and semesterly. I will be updating this throughout the year, so if you desire, please feel free to check back weekly, if you find yourself interested in this great responsibility and undertaking of science.

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